Recent tentative experimental indications, and the subsequent theoretical spec-ulations, regarding possible violations of Lorentz invariance have attracted a vast amount of attention. An important technical issue that considerably complicates detailed calculations in any such scenario, is that once one violates Lorentz invariance the analysis of thresh-olds in both scattering and decay processes becomes extremely subtle, with many new and naively unexpected effects. In the current article we develop several extremely general threshold theorems that depend only on the existence of some energy momentum relation E(p), eschewing even assumptions of isotropy or monotonicity. We shall argue that there are physically interesting situations where such a level of generality is called for, and that existing (partial) results in the literature make unnecessary technical assumptions. Even in this most general of settings, we show that at threshold all final state particles move with the same 3-velocity, while initial state particles must have 3-velocities parallel/anti-parallel to the final state particles. In contrast the various 3-momenta can behave in a complicated and counter-intuitive manner.